Who IS Evelyn Salt?

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Who is Evelyn Salt? You may as well ask, Is identity fixed and unchangeable, or is it subjective, an endless labyrinthine funhouse of twisting perspectives?

For example, I could be Jorge Luis Borges, the famous dead  Argentinean literary author. I specialize in stories like "The Garden of Forking Paths" about the mutability of identity. Do not be troubled by the "fact" of my death; facts are no match for the power of my ficciones. Currently I may be writing—and  you may be reading—a screenplay for a spy thriller called "Salt," even though it doesn't look anything like a screenplay.  I have a weakness for cheap pulp melodrama and  literary hoaxes.

Or I could be Evelyn Salt--a beautiful American CIA agent. My job is interrogating Russian spies as if the Cold War were ongoing.

Or I could be KA-12,  a Russian sleeper agent. I’ve been living undercover in the United States for over twenty years.  Like those losers in Montclair, New Jersey—except I didn’t get myself caught.  My job might be to assassinate the President of the United States. Or it might be to write this.   

Or I could be Angelina Jolie. I’m a beautiful Hollywood star, and the stuff that tabloid dreams are made of. I play KA-12  who’s pretending she’s Evelyn Salt, 

Or I could be Wanda Biedermeier,  a housewife from Buzzard’s Breath, Arizona. I follow Angelina in all the tabloids—the breakups, the affairs, the pregnancies, the adoptions, the tattoos.  Sometimes I know so much about her I think I’m Angelina.

Or you know what?  I could very well be Kurt Swimmer, making believe I'm Jorge Luis Borges by writing this.  I’m a screenplay writer.  I’ve written screenplays for a dozen movies—including "Salt"—but you’ve probably never heard of me.  No, I’m not bitter. I just should have stuck with my original dreams to be a serious literary author—like,  say, Jorge Luis Borges.

Or I could be Wanda Biedermeier again. Who the hell  is this Jorge Luis Borges person? I’ve never heard of him. Sounds like an illegal alien, if you ask me.

Or I could be  Dr. Yu Tsun. I am a character from Jorge Luis Borges' most excellent story "The Garden of Forking Paths." Someone please to be telling me what I am doing here?

Or I could be Skippy Biedermeier (no relation). I’m an accountant from Montclair, New Jersey--yeah, where the spies come from. I'm sitting on the PATH train reading this on  my e-reader on the way to my boring day job and thinking what the hell?

Or I could be Robert Brenner, a freelance writer with literary pretensions. My work has appeared in New York magazine, the Huffington Post, Open Salon, and Happy. I live in New York City with my wife. I am not a CIA agent, a Russian sleeper spy, or Jorge Luis Borges.