"The College Board announced on Wednesday a fundamental rethinking of the SAT, eliminating obligatory essays, ending the longstanding penalty for guessing wrong and cutting obscure vocabulary words.... The SAT’s rarefied vocabulary words will be replaced by words that are common in college."
-- The New York Times

1. Drinking : Binge :: Sex :

(a) Gender
(b) Casual
(c) SEX!
(d) Binge

2. Suri has class starting at 9AM. If it takes her 45 minutes to get ready, and 15 minutes to walk to class, what time should she set her alarm for?

(a) 8:55 AM
(b) 9:55 PM
(c) Snooze button
(d) Suri vomited on her alarm clock last night.

3. Frat : Party :: Calculus :

(a) Huh?
(b) Calculusator
(c) Greek
(d) F

4. Lourdes said to her mother, "It's not a big deal, mom. Everyone I know already lost her ___________."

(a) virginity
(b) scholarship
(c) license
(d) bail hearing

5. If 1 + 2x = 3, what does x equal?

(a) Old gf
(b) The spot
(c) Under 21, no drinks (just kidding)
(d) The two strangers I woke up with in my bed this morning

6. Junior Year Abroad : Productive Educational Experience ::

a) haystack : needle
b) Twitter : research tool
c) Friends : Friends Without Benefits
d) Junior Year Not Abroad : Productive Educational Experience

7. Fargo sends 100 texts an hour. Texts cost 20 cents each. How much is his monthly phone bill?

a) Infinity?
b) $14,400
c) This thing is also a phone?
d) My parents would know this.

8. An "A" 50 years ago : An "A" now ::

a) Diamonds : Cubic Zirconium
b) Handwritten letters : Facebook status updates
c) They had the same alphabet 50 years ago?
d) The SAT 50 years ago : The SAT now

9. Fortunately for Madison, in order to get a perfect score on the new SAT, her vocabulary merely has to be ________.

a) whatever.
b) like, okay.
c) words.
d) sex.

10. Optional essay: Please discuss how unpopular anyone who admits to doing the "optional" essay will be at college next fall. Feel free to answer in the form of tweets, tats, listicles, emoticons, GIFs, Snapchats, or whatever new ways you're communicating that old people haven't heard of yet.

You can find much more from Jeremy Blachman, although not his SAT score, at

July 26: On this day in 1602 "A booke called the Revenge of Hamlett Prince Denmarke" was entered in the Stationers' Register by printer James Robertes.

Crime fiction legends Dennis Lehane and Michael Connelly discuss the new book that unites their beloved sleuths Patrick Kenzie and Harry Bosch.

Books, CDs, DVDs to know about now
Paradise and Elsewhere

Canadian short story marvel Kathy Page emerges as the Alice Munro of the supernatural from these heartfelt tales of shapeshifting swimmers, mild-mannered cannibals, and personality-shifting viruses transmitted through kisses.


When a persuasive pastor arrives in a sleepy farm town, his sage influence has otherworldly results (talking sheep, a mayor who walks on water). But can he pull off the miracle of finding kindly local Liz Denny the love of her life?  Small wonder looms large in this charmer from Andre Alexis.

The Hundred-Year House

When a poetry scholar goes digging through the decrepit estate of his wife's family to uncover a bygone arts colony's strange mysteries, he awakens a tenacious monster: his mother-in-law. A wickedly funny take on aging aristocracies from author Rebecca Makkai (The Borrower).