Out of Print

(NEW YORK) – Newspapers continue to be hit hard by the recession and readers' migration to online sources.
      “Our industry is in trouble,” said Joseph Walters, editor-in-chief of the New York Daily Times.  “Subscriptions are down, the web isn’t providing enough ad revenue, and we’ve been forced to implement widespread layoffs, from the lowliest interns up to the highest—”
Mr. Walters was cut off by a security detail escorting him from the premises with his possessions in a cardboard box.
       Newspapers are employing various cost-cutting measures, such as curtailing expensed meals, limiting travel, and, on occasion, nt prntng vwls t sv xpnsv nk.
Paragraph indents and proper line spacing are also being phased out (as are closed parentheses and sometimes periods
      Legions of copy editors and fact checkers, who make up something like 6o per sent of newspaper staffs, is expected to laid off. [Can we end a sentence on a prepositional phrase? Is Tina no longer with us? –Ed.]
      One source, who must  remain anonymous for fear of losing his job and also because a certain reporter’s employer could not afford to provide him with a voice recorder, so he couldn’t get his name anyway, but he was around forty and had sort of wavy brown hair, said something longish that was probably despairingly insightful about the situation.
      Other positions that unemployed journalists are turning to include hospital orderlies and tour guides, though competition for these jobs is growing more intense, and it is becoming increasingly difficult to break in—actually, um, these professions do not pay well and people in them report low job satisfaction and weird rashes.  Do not apply for them. And if you’re already in one of these professions, career advisors suggest looking elsewhere.
      Career advising might be a good career, too. I wonder what it pays.
       News articles are trending shorter, to account for reduced attention spans and because, when you calculate it, we’re not paid enough for this thankless job, and fewer words at least means we're  getting a better per-word rate if you receive a flat fee per article. So there's that. In fact, right now I’m essentially devaluing myself by writing these words. And so on, ad infinitum, as my labor asymptotically approaches worthlessness, which is kind of what I feel most mornings. I cannot believe I wrote "asymptotically" for three cents.

      Nevertheless, some optimists remain. "Despite Americans' taste for escapist gossip and videos of babies behaving in adorably incongruous ways, journalism remains an invaluable check and balance against the corruption of government and corporations," said Joseph Walters,  an unpaid New York Daily Times intern.


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Books, CDs, DVDs to know about now
Paradise and Elsewhere

Canadian short story marvel Kathy Page emerges as the Alice Munro of the supernatural from these heartfelt tales of shapeshifting swimmers, mild-mannered cannibals, and personality-shifting viruses transmitted through kisses.


When a persuasive pastor arrives in a sleepy farm town, his sage influence has otherworldly results (talking sheep, a mayor who walks on water). But can he pull off the miracle of finding kindly local Liz Denny the love of her life?  Small wonder looms large in this charmer from Andre Alexis.

The Hundred-Year House

When a poetry scholar goes digging through the decrepit estate of his wife's family to uncover a bygone arts colony's strange mysteries, he awakens a tenacious monster: his mother-in-law. A wickedly funny take on aging aristocracies from author Rebecca Makkai (The Borrower).